please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
