I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
