The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
