On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Randomize
