Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize
