I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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