and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
