Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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