The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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