Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
