I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I love you. Go after that dick
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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