im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
