how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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