i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
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