We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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