The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
