i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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