Don't you send me to vm
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
