you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize