So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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