I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
two words...techno handjob
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Randomize
