You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
