If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
