I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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