ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
