I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
