R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
