Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
