Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
This baby is an asshole
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
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