It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
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