I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i would punch a child for taco bell
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
