Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Randomize
