his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
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