Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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