He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
