Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
