God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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