I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
