Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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