I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
