And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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