i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize