Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
third nipple confirmed
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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