Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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