I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Randomize
