and i looked up. we had an audience...
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Randomize
