I saw his package. It spoke to me.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
