I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
