just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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