You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
