i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
