And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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