You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
