dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
