It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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