The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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