how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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