fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize