Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
They are going to name an STD after you.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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