Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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