i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
We had to coat check the pizza.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
third nipple confirmed
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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