No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
my liver is dry heaving
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
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