A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
