I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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