Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
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