State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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