never play flip cup with pint glasses
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Randomize
